I recently read a story in which the private detective used a time machine to go back in time, view the crimes in progress, so that she could the “solve” them, put the bad guy away and get some publicity. The story was fun enough, and the machine didn’t really play too big a part until the end and then it confused things up some, with two versions of her running around and goons from the future with guns, but that’s beside the point. Honestly, I wish they had used something else, mind-reading, paying for information, slinking through the shadows gathering information. I’m just not a big fan of time travel.

And why does time travel also involve physical space too. Usually not only are they traveling through time but also across distances. Like they leave 21st-century New York and end up in Victorian England. Like it would make more sense to me to leave 21st-century London and wind up in Victorian London at the same address. Of course, maybe that’s part of the reason I don’t like time travel stories. They just don’t make sense. And the time traveling rarely causes major history altering event that are really, really bad, at least the few I’ve read.

So, I don’t want a time machine. I don’t want to visit times in the past, I’d just be disappointed and dirty. I don’t want to visit the future, it could be terrifying. I don’t want to go back and fix any of my mistakes, I’m happy with my life now.

Can I use a time machine just to change locations? I could really use an hour at a warm, tropical beach right now. In a hammock, with a cold drink, and a cabana boy to wait on me.