The Fat Man by Ken Harmon
The Fat Man by Ken Harmon
I'm sitting here munching on butter cookies that one of the carpet cleaning/restoration companies dropped off at work. You know the kind that comes in the tin and you only get at Christmas. They're not very good, but I do love anything sweet. I'm kind of like an elf that way.
Elves are fueled by sugar. Cookies, candy, cakes, pies - an elf's sweet tooth is primal and not picky. Need six million Poopy Droopy Diaper Dolls with Wipe-Away by sundown? Toss a handful of elves a couple of sleeves of chocolate chip cookies and get out of the way. During the Christmas of '88, when it seemed like every tyke in the hemisphere was clamoring for the Z-Box's Grandma Hostage Ninja Rescue, Santa stepped up production with a few dozen rhubarb pies and a turbocharged how chocolate. (pg. 133)
But this "Tale of North Pole Noir" is definitely not sugary sweet. Gumdrop Coal has...